English language

[snowy]

Thought you might enjoy this
Europe English

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five year phase-in plan that would be known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the "k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be ekspekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e"s in the language is disgraseful, and they should go away.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru! And zen world!

:lol:

[wayneyboy1942]

Nice one Snowy! One day we'll be talking French or German just you wait and see!

[grannyclaret]

if they drop the double letters we will lose a thread on this web .....VONT VE ,is that right for wont we ?(nice one snowy)

[janet]

I worry about myself at times, cause i understood it all to well. lol
Nice one Snowy.

[grannyclaret]

same here ,,,lol

[Robert]

On a more worrying and serious note, French is the official language of the EU and if we join the EU constitution, the UK parliament will have to adopt French as the spoken word for inside the house of commons and house of lords. Fortunetely a) I can't see us joining the constitution and b) at least it'll be just in the houses of parliament (initially)

[snowy]

I was surprised to see that about the french language thing. Take it from me, I live in Canada and we have to put up with this french language crap too much of the time. Remember that the french speaking people are born with a chip on their shoulder. I think this comes from the fact that but for the English speaking people of this world they would all be speaking german now. People round the world seem to get the wrong Idea that most Canadians speak french. This is an English speaking country and the french are a minority although they moan so much that the government gives them most of what they want to keep them quiet. :(

[wayneyboy1942]

What part of canada are you in Snowy? Bet it's a bit cold this time of year!

[snowy]

About 60 miles north of Toronto. Anything above freezing during the day is a bonus. This time of year it gets anywhere from zero to 28c below during the day.

Got freezing rain at the moment.

:(

[janet]

I bet you laugh at us over here when we complain it's cold.Probably t-shirt weather to you snowy.

[wayneyboy1942]

Makes Burnley seem tropical :yelrotflm !

[grannyclaret]

do you have the mounties snowy ,they look better than our horseback police .

[snowy]

Yes,we still have mounties,mostly for ceremonial when they are on horsback.

But the biggest police force here is still the RCMP royal canadian mounted police

[wayneyboy1942]

Do all sighns etc in Canada have to be in both english and french Snowy? We may have to have esperanto sighns here in the future!