Genuine Gameshow answer!

[Mercury]

UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE
Bamber Gascoigne : What was Ghandi's first name?
Contestant : Goosey, Goosey?

THE WEAKEST LINK
Anne Robinson : In traffic, what "J" is where two roads meet?
Contestant : Jool carriageway.

Anne Robinson : Which Italian city is overlooked by Vesuvius?
Contestant : Bombay .

Anne Robinson : What insect is commonly found hovering above lakes?
Contestant : Crocodiles.
Anne Robinson : Wh...?
Contestant (interrupting) : Pass!

Anne Robinson : In olden times, what were minstrels, travelling entertainers or chocolate salesmen?
Contestant : Chocolate salesmen.

Anne Robinson : The Bible, the New Testament. The Four Gospels were written by Matthew , Mark , Luke and...?
Contestant : (long pause) Joe ?

Anne Robinson : Who was a famous Indian leader, whose name begins with G, revered by millions, who was assassinated and received a state funeral?
Contestant : Geronimo !

NATIONAL LOTTERY JET SET
Eamonn Holmes : What's the name of the playwright commonly known by the initials G.B.S.?
Contestant : William Shakespeare .

CHRIS SEARLE SHOW, BBC BRISTOL
Searle : In which European country is Mount Etna ?
Caller : Japan .
Searle : I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that, I can let you try again.
Caller : Er... Mexico ?

FAMILY FORTUNES
1 ) Something a blind man might use? - A Sword

2 ) A song with the word Moon in the title? - Blue Suede Moon

3 ) Name the capital of France ? - F

4 ) Name a bird with a long Neck? - Naomi Campbell

5 ) Name an occupation where you might need a torch? - A burglar

6 ) Where is the Taj Mahal? - Opposite the Dental Hospital

7 ) What is Hitler 's first name? - Heil

8 ) A famous Scotsman? - Jock

9 ) Some famous brothers? - Bonnie and Clyde .

10 ) A dangerous race? - The Arabs

11 ) Something that floats in a bath? - Water

12 ) An item of clothing worn by the Three Musketeers? - A horse

13 ) Something you wear on a beach? - A deckchair

14 ) A famous Royal? - Mail

15 ) Something that flies that doesn't have an engine? - A bicycle with wings

16 ) A famous bridge? - The Bridge Over Troubled Waters

17 ) Something a cat does? - Goes to the toilet

18 ) Something you do in the bathroom? - Decorate

19 ) A method of securing your home? - Put the kettle on

20 ) Something associated with pigs? - The Police

21 ) A sign of the Zodiac? - April

22 ) Something people might be allergic to? - Skiing

23 ) Something you do before you go to bed? - Sleep

24 ) Something you put on walls? - A roof

25 ) Something slippery? - A conman

26 ) A kind of ache? - A fillet of fish

27 ) A jacket potato topping? - Jam

28 ) A food that can be brown or white? - A potato

29 ) Something sold by gypsies? - Bananas

30 ) Something red? - My sweater

RADIO LINCS PHONE-IN
Presenter : Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?
Contestant : Barcelona .
Presenter : I was really after the name of a country.
Contestant : I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain .

STEVE WRIGHT SHOW, RADIO 2
Wright : On which continent would you find the River Danube?
Contestant : India .

Wright : What is the Italian word for motorway?
Contestant : Espresso.

Wright : What is the capital of Australia ? And it's not Sydney .
Contestant : Sydney .

THIS MORNING
Judy Finnegan : The American TV show 'The Sopranos' is about opera. True or false?
Contestant : True?
Judy Finnegan : No, actually, it's about the Mafia. But it is an American TV show,so I'll give you that.

BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE
Paul Wappat : How long did the Six Day War between Egypt and Israel last?
Contestant (after long pause) : Fourteen days.

BOB HOPE BIRTHDAY QUIZ, LBC
Presenter : Bob Hope was the fifth of how many sons?
Contestant : Four

BBC GMR, PHIL WOOD SHOW
Wood : What "K" could be described as the Islamic Bible?
Contestant : Er...
Wood : It's got two syllables... Kor...
Contestant : Blimey?
Wood : Ha ha ha ha no. The past participle of run...
Contestant : (Silence)
Wood : OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I...
Contestant : Walked?

DARYL 'S DRIVETIME, VIRGIN RADIO
Daryl Denham : In which country would you spend shekels?
Contestant : Holland ?
Daryl Denham : Try the next letter of the alphabet.
Contestant : Iceland ? Ireland ?
Daryl Denham (helpfully): It's a bad line. Did you say Israel ?
Contestant : No.

[Poppy]

Brilliant I love the six day war question :Banane01:

[WillowTheWhisp]

:laugh:

NATIONAL LOTTERY JET SET
Eamonn Holmes : What's the name of the playwright commonly known by the initials G.B.S.?
Contestant : William Shakespeare .

That must be Good'ole Bill Shakespeare!

[slinky]

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ace!!! hahaha

[Col.Kurtz]

Those family fortunes answers really cracked me up! - good one.

[WillowTheWhisp]

Did you ever see that episode (episode?) where the answer was so bizarre Les Dennis just went to pieces? I can't even remember what the answer was now I just remember him with tears of laughter streaming down his cheeks and being unable to speak. :laugh:

[Col.Kurtz]

Was it the one where the contestant had heard that the star prize was a trip to Turkey, so all his answers were 'Turkey'?

[WillowTheWhisp]

No, I must have missed that one.

[cherokee]

ah the good old family fortune ones they were class ..nice one haha

[kelix]

Ha ha ha! Thanks for this.
Made me laugh out loud in the office and get some funny looks tho!!