Know any more jokes?

[wayneyboy1942]

Mine are rubbish and anyone can do better than these.........

Bloke goes to the doctors and say's "will you look at the boil on my head"
The doctor gets out his magnifying glass and say's"well I can see trees,a lake,swings and a picnic table. It's not a boil it's a beautyspot!"

Did you hear the one about the magic tracktor? It turned into a field! :

Bloke goes into a butchers shop and say's "bet you £100 you can't reach the beef that's hung 3ft over your head" The butcher say's " I'll not take your bet because the steaks are to high!"

The invisible man's wife wants a divorce on the grounds that she dosent see enough of him! :yelrotflm

So got any jokes? They can't be any worse! :lol:

[Kiki]

What do you call a woman with a pint of beer on her head playing snooker? Beertrix Potter :lol:

[nineballer77]

what do you call an irish bloke with two panes of glass on his head??

paddy o'doors

[nineballer77]

bloke walks into a bar and says "OW", it was an iron bar!!!!

[Quazi Washboard]

Q. If a bra is an "upper decker flopper stopper", and if a jockstrap is a "lower decker knacker jacker", and if guilt edged tiolet paper is a "super duper pooper scooper", what do you call a punch drunk Japanese person with a constipated father?


A. A "slap happy Jappy with a crap happy pappy"!

[Quazi Washboard]

A guy walks in to a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while
he's drinking the monkey jumps all around the place. The monkey grabs some
olives off the bar and eats them. Then he grabs some sliced limes and eats
them. Then he jumps on to the pool table, grabs one of the billiard balls,
sticks it in his mouth, and to everyone's amazement, and somehow swallows
it
whole. The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey
did?"
The guy says, "No, what?" "He just ate the cue ball off my pool table -
whole!" "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy. "He eats
everything in sight. Sorry. I'll pay for everything."
The man finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the monkey
ate and leaves. Two weeks later, he's in the bar again, and his pet monkey is
with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar
again. While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his bottom, pulls it out and eats
it. The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?" he
asks. "No, what?" replied the guy. "Well, he stuck a cherry up
his bottom, pulled it out and ate it!" said the bartender. "Yeah, that doesn't
surprise me," replied the guy. He still eats everything in sight but, ever
since he swallowed that cue ball, he measures everything first."

What does an 80 year old woman have between her legs that a 23 year old woman doesn't







Her nipples

[takersbabe]

hahahahahaha thats well funny :)

[Col.Kurtz]

Pmsl @ monkey joke...

Only joke I can remember...:whack:

How does Bob Marley like his doughnuts?

...wi jam in.

[Digsyboy]

What's an aardvark
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A vark with a big gun!!!!!

[Digsyboy]

What do you call an aardvark with two guns???
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.A well hard vark

[jaseyboy]

two fish in a tank, one says to the other one, here bob, do you know how to drive this thing?

[jaseyboy]

two tomatoes in a race, one stops and says to the other, ill ketch u up later.

[wayneyboy1942]

What is brown and sticky? A stick! :)

[Digsyboy]

mY MOTHER IS A BLACK-BELT IN COOKERY
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ONE CHOP AND YOUR DEAD