Know any more jokes?

[grannyclaret]

i make good chops .digsy.
.
.this one is not for kiki,s ears
.
.what do they call a septic cat,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,PUSS

[ollie]

Granny Caret!

Originally Posted by grannyclaret

i make good chops .digsy.
.
.this one is not for kiki,s ears
.
.what do they call a septic cat,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,PUSS

[wayneyboy1942]

What is the difference between a Sock and a Camera?
A Sock takes five toes and a Camera takes photo's!!!!! :)

[silverscrim]

2 lots of vomit going down the street one said to the other, i was brought up down here:D

[ollie]

Snow White, Robin Hood and Quasimodo were in a room with a magic mirror

Snow White says to the mirror, Mirror mirror on the wall who's the lovliest of them all?
The mirror say's - why you are my dear
Robin Hood goes next and he say's Mirror mirror on the wall who's the finest archer of them all?
The mirror says -why 'tis you Robin
Quasimodo goes up and says Mirror mirror on the wall whos the ugliest of them all?
Two minutes later Quasimodo comes out of the room scratching his head
" hey" he asks "who the hell's Blackburn Raver?"

[Swinny]

What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells..............Pregnant

[grannyclaret]

Originally Posted by ollie

Snow White, Robin Hood and Quasimodo were in a room with a magic mirror

Snow White says to the mirror, Mirror mirror on the wall who's the lovliest of them all?
The mirror say's - why you are my dear
Robin Hood goes next and he say's Mirror mirror on the wall who's the finest archer of them all?
The mirror says -why 'tis you Robin
Quasimodo goes up and says Mirror mirror on the wall whos the ugliest of them all?
Two minutes later Quasimodo comes out of the room scratching his head
" hey" he asks "who the hell's Blackburn Raver?"

OLLIE I THINK THAT IS ONE OF THE BEST ,,,,,,,hope b.r. does too :yelrotflm

[snowy]

First snake says to the second snake..."are we poisonous"?

Second snake says "why"?

First snake says "Because I just bit my lip"

:lol: :yelrotflm

Originally Posted by ollie

Snow White, Robin Hood and Quasimodo were in a room with a magic mirror

Snow White says to the mirror, Mirror mirror on the wall who's the lovliest of them all?
The mirror say's - why you are my dear
Robin Hood goes next and he say's Mirror mirror on the wall who's the finest archer of them all?
The mirror says -why 'tis you Robin
Quasimodo goes up and says Mirror mirror on the wall whos the ugliest of them all?
Two minutes later Quasimodo comes out of the room scratching his head
" hey" he asks "who the hell's Blackburn Raver?"

:lol: :yelrotflm .......good job i gotta sense of humour

One day a man walked in a bar with a box. He sat down, opened the box and out popped a leprechaun. The man told the bartender, "I want a pint of beer and a shot of whiskey for my buddy here."
There was man sitting at the end of the bar watching all of this and, after the leprechaun drank his shot of whiskey, he ran down to the end of the bar and spit in the guy's face. Then he ran back.

The guy with the box said, "I'll have another beer and a shot of whiskey for my buddy here."

After the leprechaun drank his shot of whiskey, he again ran to the end of the bar and spit in the man's face, then dashed back.

The guy with the box ordered another beer for himself and another shot for the leprechaun. Again, the after the leprechaun drank his shot of whiskey, he ran down to the end of the bar. But this time the man was waiting for him and he grabbed the leprechaun and held him in the air.

He said, "If you spit in my face again, I'm going to cut your pecker off."

The leprechaun laughed and said, "Leprechauns don't have peckers."

Then the man said, "If you don't have peckers, then how do you pee?"

"By spitting," said the leprechaun.

A guy walks into a bar with his dog on a leash the barman says, “Geez that's a weird dog: he's stumpy-legged, pink, and doesn't have a tail, but I bet my rottweiler would beat the heck out of it.”
50 bucks is laid down. Out in the yard the rottweiler gets mauled to pieces.

Another drinker says his pit bull will win but the bet is 100 bucks.

Another trip to the yard and when it's all over there are bits of pit-bull terrier all over the place. The drinker pays up and says, “Say what breed is that anyway?”

The owner says, “Until I cut his tail off and painted it pink it was the same breed as every other alligator"........ :yelrotflm

[wayneyboy1942]

:) Bloke goes to the bar and asks for a pint of orange,
the barman say's "still orange?"
and the bloke say's yes I've not changed my mind!!!! :)

[Jason]

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

A duck walks into a pub and says to the barman: "Got any bread?" Barman says: "No." Duck says: "Got any bread?" Barman says: "No." Duck says: "Got any bread?" Barman says: "No, we have no bread." Duck says: "Got any bread?" Barman says: "No, we haven't got any f*#@ing bread." Duck says: "Got any bread?" Barman says: "No, are you deaf, we haven't got any f*#@ing bread, ask me again and I'll nail your f*#@ing beak to the bar you irritating bas***d bird!" Duck says: "Got any nails?" Barman says: "No." Duck says: "Got any bread?

A GUY sticks his head into a barber shop and asks: "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looks around the shop and says: "About 2 hours." The guy leaves. A few days later the same guy sticks his head in the door and asks: "How long before I can get a haircut? " The barber looks around at shop full of customers and says: "About 3 hours." The guy leaves. A week later the same guy sticks his head in the shop and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looks around the shop and says: "About an hour and half." The guy leaves. The barber looks over at a friend in the shop and says: "Hey, Bill, follow that guy and see where he goes." "He keeps asking how long he has to wait for a haircut, but then doesn't come back." A little while later, Bill comes back into the shop, laughing hysterically. The barber asks, "Bill, where did he go when he left here?" Bill looks up, tears in his eyes and says: "Your house!" :yelrotflm