Poetry please!

[Kiki]

Hey kids! Remember me?

Im the lady with the Christmas tree,

Im the lady with the beard and sack....

Waved you off and hugged you back,

Packed your bags and waited up...

Bought you a bicycle. Bought you a pup.

Kissed you better and blew your noses.

Bottled you jam and picked you roses.

Legs gone shaky; stuck in a chair,

Not too sure about when or where.

Dont quite know how i got this...

Send me a letter...

Send me a kiss.

Pamela Brown

[grannyclaret]

''Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer 'the naughty stuff' raises some pretty good questions.
- Woody Allen -


''When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.''
- Gracie Allen -
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''Life is a game, whoever has the most money at the end wins''
- Danny Devito -
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''A vegetarian is a person who won't eat anything that can have children.''
- David Brenner -
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''I was hitchhiking the other day and a hearse stopped. I said,
"No thanks I'm not going that far."
- Steven Wright -
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''A bachelor is a selfish, undeserving guy who has cheated some woman out of a divorce.''
- Don Quinn -
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''A rich man's joke is always funny.''
- Proverb -
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''I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with "Guess" on it. I said, "Thyroid problem?''
- Arnold Schwarzenegger -
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''A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.''
- Zsa Zsa Gabor -
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[grannyclaret]

MATILDA

by: Hilaire Belloc (1870-1953)

WHO TOLD LIES, AND WAS BURNED TO DEATH

ATILDA told such Dreadful Lies,
It made one Gasp and Stretch one's Eyes;
Her Aunt, who, from her Earliest Youth,
Had kept a Strict Regard for Truth,
Attempted to Believe Matilda:
The effort very nearly killed her,
And would have done so, had not She
Discovered this Infirmity.
For once, towards the Close of Day,
Matilda, growing tired of play,
And finding she was left alone,
Went tiptoe to the Telephone
And summoned the Immediate Aid
Of London's Noble Fire-Brigade.
Within an hour the Gallant Band
Were pouring in on every hand,
From Putney, Hackney Downs, and Bow.
With Courage high and Hearts a-glow,
They galloped, roaring through the Town,
'Matilda's House is Burning Down!'
Inspired by British Cheers and Loud
Proceeding from the Frenzied Crowd,
They ran their ladders through a score
Of windows on the Ball Room Floor;
And took Peculiar Pains to Souse
The Pictures up and down the House,
Until Matilda's Aunt succeeded
In showing them they were not needed;
And even then she had to pay
To get the Men to go away!

It happened that a few Weeks later
Her Aunt was off to the Theatre
To see that Interesting Play
The Second Mrs. Tanqueray.
She had refused to take her Niece
To hear this Entertaining Piece:
A Deprivation Just and Wise
To Punish her for Telling Lies.
That Night a Fire did break out--
You should have heard Matilda Shout!
You should have heard her Scream and Bawl,
And throw the window up and call
To People passing in the Street--
(The rapidly increasing Heat
Encouraging her to obtain
Their confidence) -- but all in vain!
For every time she shouted 'Fire!'
They only answered 'Little Liar!'
And therefore when her Aunt returned,
Matilda, and the House, were Burned.

"Matilda" is reprinted from Cautionary Tales. Hilaire Belloc. 1907.

[Ianw]

I wouldn't be a member of a club that would have me as a member. Groucho Marx.
They that mind their own business will always be fully employed. Cicero.
"How do you like children"? "extremely well done" W.C Fields.

[Kiki]

I wish i was a little grub
with whiskers on my tummy.
Id jump into a honey pot
and make my tummy gummy.-anonamous

[Digsyboy]

Sam the Dog by Digsyboy

Sam the Dog,
Sam the Dog,
He's not a frog,
He's Sam the Dog!!!!!

[Digsyboy]

which witch are you oh witch,
are you the witch that is,
about to turn into a cat,
or did you make a switch!?

[Kiki]

Im the witch that be ,
ill eat you for my tea.
So best watch out,
in case of doubt
Afar you,d better be.
Id cook you long,
then sing a song.
Tra lee, Tralee, Tralee- by me:sympathy:

[Magpi 47]

A wonderful bird is the Pelican,
His mouth can hold more than his belly can.
He can hold in his beak,
Enough food for the week,
Though I'm damned if I know how the hell he can.

I don't know who wrote this bit of doggerel, sounds a bit Ogden Nash-ish.

[James Pickering]

I never left a stone unturned (Ogden Nash)

I am a meticulous man
And when I throw rocks at seabirds
I leave no tern unstoned

I am a colourful man
And when I paint baboons at the zoo
I leave no stern untoned

[Magpi 47]

Look For Me.....

Look for me in rainbows,
My name on the summer breeze.
Hear me in the birdsong,
And the rustling of green leaves.
Seek me in the sunshine,
And when long shadows fall,
Hold your hand out for me,
I have not left at all.

I'm in the scent of roses,
The smell of new mown hay,
While ever I'm remembered
How can I be away?
I am the dancing sunlight.
The Moon......the evening star,
And when tears fall the hardest
I'll be right where YOU are.

I know this one isn't a funny poem. I wrote it for the wife of a good friend, who lost her husband to lung cancer.

[James Pickering]

[Kiki]

Magi ,your poems beautiful! it made me fill up! and James your calligraphy is wonderful . what talent!:first: :first:

[Magpi 47]

Thank you Kiki......I have written quite a few poems over the years...usually for special people in my life. I hardly ever buy a card with a verse...I prefer to write my own.