As this is my first Blog I hope you will bear with me. Life at the moment is pretty rough with all that is going on. My hubby has been battling cancer for quite a while now and it does get you down. He had his first op in 1992 although I wasn't told he had cancer of the bowel (they didn't have to tell me then). He had his second op in 2005 again for bowel cancer. He was offered chemo after the op but the chances of it being benefical were 1in20 so he refused. I know a lot of people will find it hard to understand why he refused treatment but he had been so ill before the op and was just beginning to feel more like his old self that he didn't want a treatment that was going to make him ill again plus the odds were pretty low in his favour.
Twelve months after the op he was booked in for a scan as is the norm. This showed that the cancer had gone to his left lung. He had an op to remove it last December and in January we went to see the oncologist who was very abrupt with him and basically talked him out of having chemo much to my disgust. He was promised three monthly scans which he accepted.
Anyway the scans revealed that the cancer had travelled to his right lung. It is still classed as bowel cancer because rather than lung cancers these are cells that have resulted from his original bowel op. He was then offered six lots of chemo over twelve weeks which he has had.
He had a scan last Monday and if the chemo hasn't helped he will hopefully be offered a stronger dose. We are going for the results tomorrow so will let you know how we get on. Hope this hasn't bored you to much but it does help to get it off my chest!!
Twelve months after the op he was booked in for a scan as is the norm. This showed that the cancer had gone to his left lung. He had an op to remove it last December and in January we went to see the oncologist who was very abrupt with him and basically talked him out of having chemo much to my disgust. He was promised three monthly scans which he accepted.
Anyway the scans revealed that the cancer had travelled to his right lung. It is still classed as bowel cancer because rather than lung cancers these are cells that have resulted from his original bowel op. He was then offered six lots of chemo over twelve weeks which he has had.
He had a scan last Monday and if the chemo hasn't helped he will hopefully be offered a stronger dose. We are going for the results tomorrow so will let you know how we get on. Hope this hasn't bored you to much but it does help to get it off my chest!!
Please Bear With Me
Posted 12-12-07 at 08:34 by bernie
Please bear with me if I start rambling, it is all I ssem to do these days. I will be in the middle of a sentence and forget completely what I am talking about. Maybe it is age or maybe it is all the things buzzing around in my head. Either way it can be pretty annoying. I haven't posted for a few days, just can't seem to motivate myself but today just want to get my thoughts out.
Well today is the day that we lay my lovely hubby to rest. I hope everything goes well as this is the last thing I will do for him and he so deserves the best. Did my best when choosing his outfit, he has on a shirt my mum bought for his birthday, new trousers, new braces, his lovely smart shoes and last but not least his I am sixty five badge which the grand-children bought for him. He really is looking rather dapper, just how he always did before the Big C got hold of him.
I am hoping the weather will at least stay fine(graveyards are bad enough without rain). The music we are playing is "Greatest Love Of All" by George Benson at the beginning of the service and at the end it is a song hubby choose "End Of My Journey" by Harry Stewart. Both poignant songs but both very beautiful.
On my finger will be my new diamond ring, my last gift off my lovely man. He had been saying for a long time that he was going to buy me one but never managed to be able to do so. As he was lying in hospital on that awful day he told his sons that the money in his bank account was for my ring and to make sure I got one.(how beautiful is that?) Anyway after I had visited him on Monday I went with my daughter and bought the ring thus fulfilling his last wish. I will be so proud to wear that ring.
I could go on all day today which considering the last few days is a bit weird as I was really feeling stuck for words. But I must start getting ready for my final drive with this wonderful man who I had the privelege to call my husband. Sleep well my darling, hope you are at peace wherever you are. Just hope you will all raise a glass of Merlot with him. Forgot to mention he has some with him. So chin chin my sweetheart I love and miss you so much.
Well today is the day that we lay my lovely hubby to rest. I hope everything goes well as this is the last thing I will do for him and he so deserves the best. Did my best when choosing his outfit, he has on a shirt my mum bought for his birthday, new trousers, new braces, his lovely smart shoes and last but not least his I am sixty five badge which the grand-children bought for him. He really is looking rather dapper, just how he always did before the Big C got hold of him.
I am hoping the weather will at least stay fine(graveyards are bad enough without rain). The music we are playing is "Greatest Love Of All" by George Benson at the beginning of the service and at the end it is a song hubby choose "End Of My Journey" by Harry Stewart. Both poignant songs but both very beautiful.
On my finger will be my new diamond ring, my last gift off my lovely man. He had been saying for a long time that he was going to buy me one but never managed to be able to do so. As he was lying in hospital on that awful day he told his sons that the money in his bank account was for my ring and to make sure I got one.(how beautiful is that?) Anyway after I had visited him on Monday I went with my daughter and bought the ring thus fulfilling his last wish. I will be so proud to wear that ring.
I could go on all day today which considering the last few days is a bit weird as I was really feeling stuck for words. But I must start getting ready for my final drive with this wonderful man who I had the privelege to call my husband. Sleep well my darling, hope you are at peace wherever you are. Just hope you will all raise a glass of Merlot with him. Forgot to mention he has some with him. So chin chin my sweetheart I love and miss you so much.
Total Comments 4
Comments
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Bernie, words fail me, but tears don't.
I am sure that folk will understand. I hope to see you later.Posted 12-12-07 at 10:41 by Magpi 47
- I was so choked when I read this entry. I wish there was something I could do to help you, Bernie through this difficult time. Ian sounded as if he was a right character on the forums, and it would have been a pleasure to have met him.
Big hugs to you and your family.Posted 15-12-07 at 22:56 by Mercury -
He was a character and your comments help me get through these dark times believe mePosted 16-12-07 at 01:17 by bernie -
Glad about the ring and what a nice man to do that!Posted 17-12-07 at 17:08 by Kiki
