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As this is my first Blog I hope you will bear with me. Life at the moment is pretty rough with all that is going on. My hubby has been battling cancer for quite a while now and it does get you down. He had his first op in 1992 although I wasn't told he had cancer of the bowel (they didn't have to tell me then). He had his second op in 2005 again for bowel cancer. He was offered chemo after the op but the chances of it being benefical were 1in20 so he refused. I know a lot of people will find it hard to understand why he refused treatment but he had been so ill before the op and was just beginning to feel more like his old self that he didn't want a treatment that was going to make him ill again plus the odds were pretty low in his favour.
Twelve months after the op he was booked in for a scan as is the norm. This showed that the cancer had gone to his left lung. He had an op to remove it last December and in January we went to see the oncologist who was very abrupt with him and basically talked him out of having chemo much to my disgust. He was promised three monthly scans which he accepted.
Anyway the scans revealed that the cancer had travelled to his right lung. It is still classed as bowel cancer because rather than lung cancers these are cells that have resulted from his original bowel op. He was then offered six lots of chemo over twelve weeks which he has had.
He had a scan last Monday and if the chemo hasn't helped he will hopefully be offered a stronger dose. We are going for the results tomorrow so will let you know how we get on. Hope this hasn't bored you to much but it does help to get it off my chest!!
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Life!!!!

Posted 08-06-08 at 01:09 by bernie (My Life At The Moment)
I know it has been a while since I posted but feel like I need to have a good old moan(did warn you when I first started blogging that it would be depressing). Well people tell you when you lose someone that things get better, sorry don't agree with that am finding it hard to function. Yes I can probably guess that you are thinking "pull yourself together" but it is so hard.
To top things off my Mum had an accident the other week whilst visiting somebody who was in Pendle Community...
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Is It That Long Since?

Posted 08-05-08 at 02:10 by bernie (My Life At The Moment)
Just a short blog this one did not realise it was so long since I had posted, was of-line for nearly three months after Ians death and then couldn't back on here for quite a while. Hope everyone is ok and will speak in a while.
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A Pleasant Christmas

Posted 27-12-07 at 20:36 by bernie (My Life At The Moment)
Well that is christmas out of the way and very pleasant it was. My grandaughter is still staying with me so she brought some of her presents to mine and we opened them together. After that was done and breakfast was out of the way she went home to spend some time with the rest of the family.
My niece came for me and off we went to see my sister and meet mum for the visit to the cemetery. My nephew who is nine had made two wreaths(with his dads help) one for my dads grave and one for Ian's....
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Well It Is Nearly Here

Posted 19-12-07 at 17:43 by bernie (My Life At The Moment)
Christmas is nearly upon us and I'm not ready in fact I'm dreading it. Will be going to my sisters for christmas dinner but the way I feel just now don't think I'll be very good company. God how I miss Ian and wonder why he had to go.
The DHSS don't make life any easier, they say you are entitled to something then your not. What they don't do is help, I had a form to fill in for Bereavement Benefits and took it to Welfare Rights so they could help. Whilst there I was told that I can claim...
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The Last Few Days

Posted 15-12-07 at 09:59 by bernie (My Life At The Moment)
As I wrote in my last blog the funeral has been and gone. There were a lot of people there which in itself makes me feel proud of the obvious love and respect people felt for Ian. My grand-daughter did a reading, she is only twelve and we were unsure if she would be able to cope but cope she did admirably. Next was Vicky (Ian's sons partener) reading "IF" one of Ian's favourite poems. Last but not least came Richard (Ian's brother) reading some thoughts that his sister had sent by e-mail...
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