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As this is my first Blog I hope you will bear with me. Life at the moment is pretty rough with all that is going on. My hubby has been battling cancer for quite a while now and it does get you down. He had his first op in 1992 although I wasn't told he had cancer of the bowel (they didn't have to tell me then). He had his second op in 2005 again for bowel cancer. He was offered chemo after the op but the chances of it being benefical were 1in20 so he refused. I know a lot of people will find it hard to understand why he refused treatment but he had been so ill before the op and was just beginning to feel more like his old self that he didn't want a treatment that was going to make him ill again plus the odds were pretty low in his favour.
Twelve months after the op he was booked in for a scan as is the norm. This showed that the cancer had gone to his left lung. He had an op to remove it last December and in January we went to see the oncologist who was very abrupt with him and basically talked him out of having chemo much to my disgust. He was promised three monthly scans which he accepted.
Anyway the scans revealed that the cancer had travelled to his right lung. It is still classed as bowel cancer because rather than lung cancers these are cells that have resulted from his original bowel op. He was then offered six lots of chemo over twelve weeks which he has had.
He had a scan last Monday and if the chemo hasn't helped he will hopefully be offered a stronger dose. We are going for the results tomorrow so will let you know how we get on. Hope this hasn't bored you to much but it does help to get it off my chest!!
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Please Bear With Me

Posted 12-12-07 at 08:34 by bernie (My Life At The Moment)
Please bear with me if I start rambling, it is all I ssem to do these days. I will be in the middle of a sentence and forget completely what I am talking about. Maybe it is age or maybe it is all the things buzzing around in my head. Either way it can be pretty annoying. I haven't posted for a few days, just can't seem to motivate myself but today just want to get my thoughts out.
Well today is the day that we lay my lovely hubby to rest. I hope everything goes well as this is the last...
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Two Wonderful People

Posted 06-12-07 at 18:12 by bernie (My Life At The Moment)
I really would like to thank the undertakers for they have worked extra hard to make sure we could give hubby his birthday cards. They told me yesterday that it would be Friday before he would be ready to receive visitors. But knowing today was his birthday they bribed the embalmer and went into work early to ensure we could all go to see him and wish him Happy Birthday.
It was lovely to see him looking so peaceful and to be able to kiss him and wish him happy birthday. His brother reckons...
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Got Him Out!!!

Posted 05-12-07 at 22:50 by bernie (My Life At The Moment)
What a damn palaver we were told we would be able to get relevant paperwork necessary to get the death certificate from hospital after ten on Monday morning. Made the call and was told the Coroner was involved(apparently rules and red tape). Anyway was told the delay wouldn't be to long possibly late on Monday things would be sorted. No phone call on Monday so Tuesday tried again. Still not ready and the next thing is my internet goes down. No phone, No Msn, No nothing.(hubby is trying to tell me...
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The Fight Is Over

Posted 04-12-07 at 00:09 by bernie (My Life At The Moment)
As some of you already know my darling hubby lost his battle against cancer at two fifteen this morning. I am so glad he is at peace but do wonder how I will cope without him. He was by no means perfect but who is? But he was a wonderful father to my children(giving sperm does not make you a father IMO) and although he wasn't their biological father I refuse to call him their step-father because he was so much more than that in my eyes.
We had a terrible night Saturday and when I got up yesterday(if...
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Been Feeling Down!!

Posted 01-12-07 at 22:02 by bernie (My Life At The Moment)
I haven't posted for a couple of days as I've been very down, hubbys movemenr hasn't improved and in fact is seems to be worse!!! I certainly wouldn't be able to cope on my own now, so the fact that my son is here is a blessing.
Was hoping to get out and do some christmas shopping on Thursday but ended up never crossing the doorstep what with one thing and another. Managed to get out yesterday so my daughter and I spent a few hours trying to get everything bought. We managed to get most of...
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