As this is my first Blog I hope you will bear with me. Life at the moment is pretty rough with all that is going on. My hubby has been battling cancer for quite a while now and it does get you down. He had his first op in 1992 although I wasn't told he had cancer of the bowel (they didn't have to tell me then). He had his second op in 2005 again for bowel cancer. He was offered chemo after the op but the chances of it being benefical were 1in20 so he refused. I know a lot of people will find it hard to understand why he refused treatment but he had been so ill before the op and was just beginning to feel more like his old self that he didn't want a treatment that was going to make him ill again plus the odds were pretty low in his favour.
Twelve months after the op he was booked in for a scan as is the norm. This showed that the cancer had gone to his left lung. He had an op to remove it last December and in January we went to see the oncologist who was very abrupt with him and basically talked him out of having chemo much to my disgust. He was promised three monthly scans which he accepted.
Anyway the scans revealed that the cancer had travelled to his right lung. It is still classed as bowel cancer because rather than lung cancers these are cells that have resulted from his original bowel op. He was then offered six lots of chemo over twelve weeks which he has had.
He had a scan last Monday and if the chemo hasn't helped he will hopefully be offered a stronger dose. We are going for the results tomorrow so will let you know how we get on. Hope this hasn't bored you to much but it does help to get it off my chest!!
Twelve months after the op he was booked in for a scan as is the norm. This showed that the cancer had gone to his left lung. He had an op to remove it last December and in January we went to see the oncologist who was very abrupt with him and basically talked him out of having chemo much to my disgust. He was promised three monthly scans which he accepted.
Anyway the scans revealed that the cancer had travelled to his right lung. It is still classed as bowel cancer because rather than lung cancers these are cells that have resulted from his original bowel op. He was then offered six lots of chemo over twelve weeks which he has had.
He had a scan last Monday and if the chemo hasn't helped he will hopefully be offered a stronger dose. We are going for the results tomorrow so will let you know how we get on. Hope this hasn't bored you to much but it does help to get it off my chest!!
The Last Few Days
Posted 15-12-07 at 08:59 by bernie
As I wrote in my last blog the funeral has been and gone. There were a lot of people there which in itself makes me feel proud of the obvious love and respect people felt for Ian. My grand-daughter did a reading, she is only twelve and we were unsure if she would be able to cope but cope she did admirably. Next was Vicky (Ian's sons partener) reading "IF" one of Ian's favourite poems. Last but not least came Richard (Ian's brother) reading some thoughts that his sister had sent by e-mail from Australia. How he managed to get through without breaking down is a mystery to me. The sun was shining right onto the grave, so the saying must be true it certainly shone on the righteous that day.
There have been a few weird things happening with the electrics at home. Nothing major but enough to make me feel that Ian is still around. My internet went down when he wanted to be moved from the mortuary. On Tuesday decided to hoover ready for people coming for the funeral and hooover conked out.(it is working fine now) And a couple of times I have lost my signal for Sky even though the weather has been calm. As Ian was an electrician I feel he is letting me know he is still around.
They are coming to pick the recliner up today and irattional as it sounds I feel like another part of him is being taken off me. I know it has to be taken but the little things seem to hurt the most. Once it has gone I am going to put my christmas tree up. I have to try and bring a sense of normality back into life. I am really dreading christmas but will be spending the day at my sisters.
My brother rang from South Africa yesterday evening. I was feeling a bit weepy and the sound of his voice made me worse. I did try to hide it(he is so far away and will only worry) but don't think I was very successful. Not to worry these tears have got to come out.
I am going to the Accyweb meet tonight, quite a few members came to the funeral. Thanks to all of you but especially you Magpi for coming on Tiddlers birthday. Not really looking forward to the meet because the last time I saw a lot of these people was at Ian's birthday bash. But I will brave it and that will be another milestone I have achieved. Got to go now as the girls slept last night and it is breakfast time.
This blog is really helping me just by writing my feelings down seems to bring me some comfort. It will be a while before it is a happy blog but I'm sure the day will come!!!
There have been a few weird things happening with the electrics at home. Nothing major but enough to make me feel that Ian is still around. My internet went down when he wanted to be moved from the mortuary. On Tuesday decided to hoover ready for people coming for the funeral and hooover conked out.(it is working fine now) And a couple of times I have lost my signal for Sky even though the weather has been calm. As Ian was an electrician I feel he is letting me know he is still around.
They are coming to pick the recliner up today and irattional as it sounds I feel like another part of him is being taken off me. I know it has to be taken but the little things seem to hurt the most. Once it has gone I am going to put my christmas tree up. I have to try and bring a sense of normality back into life. I am really dreading christmas but will be spending the day at my sisters.
My brother rang from South Africa yesterday evening. I was feeling a bit weepy and the sound of his voice made me worse. I did try to hide it(he is so far away and will only worry) but don't think I was very successful. Not to worry these tears have got to come out.
I am going to the Accyweb meet tonight, quite a few members came to the funeral. Thanks to all of you but especially you Magpi for coming on Tiddlers birthday. Not really looking forward to the meet because the last time I saw a lot of these people was at Ian's birthday bash. But I will brave it and that will be another milestone I have achieved. Got to go now as the girls slept last night and it is breakfast time.
This blog is really helping me just by writing my feelings down seems to bring me some comfort. It will be a while before it is a happy blog but I'm sure the day will come!!!
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Comments
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Bernie, I had to come......I had a big hug to deliver!
It is funny what you say about the electrics.
My Dad was an electrician too. He died 16 years ago of Lung cancer. After his death the TV would switch itself on......always to the news channel(which he loved) and at the same time the kettle would switch on too......Dad used to fill the kettle and switch it on to make a brew, then put the TV on while he waited for the kettle to boil.
My dad didn't believe in an after life. He said when you go that is it...but we have had many incidents that lead us to believe he is coming through to us.
Take care Bernie...one day at a time.Posted 15-12-07 at 17:33 by Magpi 47
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I heard that Katharine of Aragons ghost switches the lights off in Peterborough cathedral, my sister Llived closeby and this was often talked about!Posted 17-12-07 at 15:53 by Kiki
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