As this is my first Blog I hope you will bear with me. Life at the moment is pretty rough with all that is going on. My hubby has been battling cancer for quite a while now and it does get you down. He had his first op in 1992 although I wasn't told he had cancer of the bowel (they didn't have to tell me then). He had his second op in 2005 again for bowel cancer. He was offered chemo after the op but the chances of it being benefical were 1in20 so he refused. I know a lot of people will find it hard to understand why he refused treatment but he had been so ill before the op and was just beginning to feel more like his old self that he didn't want a treatment that was going to make him ill again plus the odds were pretty low in his favour.
Twelve months after the op he was booked in for a scan as is the norm. This showed that the cancer had gone to his left lung. He had an op to remove it last December and in January we went to see the oncologist who was very abrupt with him and basically talked him out of having chemo much to my disgust. He was promised three monthly scans which he accepted.
Anyway the scans revealed that the cancer had travelled to his right lung. It is still classed as bowel cancer because rather than lung cancers these are cells that have resulted from his original bowel op. He was then offered six lots of chemo over twelve weeks which he has had.
He had a scan last Monday and if the chemo hasn't helped he will hopefully be offered a stronger dose. We are going for the results tomorrow so will let you know how we get on. Hope this hasn't bored you to much but it does help to get it off my chest!!
Twelve months after the op he was booked in for a scan as is the norm. This showed that the cancer had gone to his left lung. He had an op to remove it last December and in January we went to see the oncologist who was very abrupt with him and basically talked him out of having chemo much to my disgust. He was promised three monthly scans which he accepted.
Anyway the scans revealed that the cancer had travelled to his right lung. It is still classed as bowel cancer because rather than lung cancers these are cells that have resulted from his original bowel op. He was then offered six lots of chemo over twelve weeks which he has had.
He had a scan last Monday and if the chemo hasn't helped he will hopefully be offered a stronger dose. We are going for the results tomorrow so will let you know how we get on. Hope this hasn't bored you to much but it does help to get it off my chest!!
Two Wonderful People
Posted 06-12-07 at 18:12 by bernie
I really would like to thank the undertakers for they have worked extra hard to make sure we could give hubby his birthday cards. They told me yesterday that it would be Friday before he would be ready to receive visitors. But knowing today was his birthday they bribed the embalmer and went into work early to ensure we could all go to see him and wish him Happy Birthday.
It was lovely to see him looking so peaceful and to be able to kiss him and wish him happy birthday. His brother reckons he is smirking as much as to say "I always get the last word" The grandchildren have been to sing Happy Birthday and give him his cards. So all in all I am feeling a lot better.
Oh I know there are going to be days when I won't be feeling so good. In fact I am dreading christmas but will just take each day as it comes!!!
It was lovely to see him looking so peaceful and to be able to kiss him and wish him happy birthday. His brother reckons he is smirking as much as to say "I always get the last word" The grandchildren have been to sing Happy Birthday and give him his cards. So all in all I am feeling a lot better.
Oh I know there are going to be days when I won't be feeling so good. In fact I am dreading christmas but will just take each day as it comes!!!
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Comments
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Bernie, you are going to meet quite a few of those wonderful people I'm sure.
And as for taking things a day at a time..............that is all we are ever given at one time.....one day.
In the first few days and weeks it won't even be a day at a time.....it will be minute to minute....then it will be hour to hour....and then day to day.
You will think of your man often, and it will make you cry to think of the good man you have lost. Remember him well and think that some people never ever know the kind of love that you shared....and be thankful that you were privileged to share his life.
People will tell you that time is a healer, and you will think that this is just a cliche......and in a way it is, but it is also true.......eventually you will be able to think of the happy times you shared, and you will smile instead of weeping.......I don't know how long this will take, everyone is different.
You will go through a huge mix of emotions......sadness, you'll be angry at him for leaving you alone......there may be days when you want to pull the blankets over your head and be wakened when it is all over......you'll feel a sense of relief that he isn't suffering anymore, and then you'll feel guilty - as if you'd wished him to death.
Give yourself time....and know that you have friends who will listen to you when you want to talk about him.
Love to you and yours Bernie.
Ian....where ever you are 'Happy Birthday - and Chin chin'Posted 06-12-07 at 20:25 by Magpi 47
